Our H.O.T. Coaching Method | How It Works
Everything We Do Is Built on H.O.T.
We didn't invent the problems couples face. Secrecy. Betrayal. Silence. Distance. These are old wounds. But most approaches to healing them are vague — lots of talking, not much changing. We built our coaching around one clear framework: H.O.T. — Honest. Open. Transparent. Because here's what we've learned after 30+ years of marriage and years of coaching:
intimacy cannot survive where secrecy lives.
You can have all the date nights in the world. You can make every promise in the book. But until there is radical honesty — about what happened, what's happening, and what you both actually need — the real healing can't start.
H.O.T. is not a concept. It's a structure. And we walk you through every part of it.
What Coaching Actually Looks Like
Most people come to us exhausted. They've already tried date nights, read the books, sat through sessions that went nowhere. They don't need more advice. They need a structure that actually works — and someone who'll walk through it with them.
That's exactly what we do.
Every engagement with Red Hot Marriage follows the same proven path:
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Step 1 : Start with a Free Consultation
Before anything else, we sit down with you — no charge, no pressure. This is a real conversation, not a sales pitch. We want to understand where you are, what's broken, and whether we're the right fit to help you fix it.
You'll leave the call with clarity on what's possible, what the path forward looks like, and what working together would involve. If it's not the right fit, we'll tell you that too.
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Step 2 : We Build Your Roadmap in Session One
If you decide to move forward, your first coaching session isn't filler — it's a working session.
We help you map out where you are, where you want to be, and what's standing in the way. You leave with a personalized roadmap that gives your coaching a clear direction from day one.
No more showing up every week wondering what to talk about.
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Step 3: Weekly Sessions
Every session has a purpose. We don't just ask how you're doing and reflect it back to you.
We bring a specific framework to each conversation. We give you homework. We hold you accountable to it. We check in before the next session and adjust based on what's actually happening in your life — not just what happens in the 50 minutes we're on a call together.
Sessions are weekly via video call, so you can work with us from anywhere.
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Step 4: Between Sessions — Where the Real Work Happens
Coaching doesn't stop when the call ends.
Between sessions, you have exercises to work through, conversations to have, and patterns to practice. The work you do between sessions is often where the biggest breakthroughs happen — because that's where real life is.
We stay connected. If something comes up between sessions, we're not hard to reach.
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Step 5: You Get Real Results — Not Just a Process
Our goal is never to keep you in coaching forever. Our goal is to give you the tools, the structure, and the framework to keep building a strong marriage on your own.
When couples leave our coaching, they don't just feel better — they know why they feel better, and they know what to do when things get hard again.
Because they will. That's marriage. But you'll be ready.
Which Path Is Right for You?
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You don't need your spouse to participate to start. In fact, some of our most powerful results start with one committed person.
Whether you're a husband working through recovery, a wife trying to process betrayal trauma, or a spouse whose partner refuses to come — individual coaching gives you a clear, structured path forward.
We work with you on your mindset, your boundaries, your healing, and your next steps. When one person in a marriage changes, the whole dynamic shifts.
Starting at $125 / session · Packages available
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Marriage Coaching is for couples needing short term support to rebuild trust and restore connection after betrayal, addiction, emotional distance, or repeated conflict. We guide you step-by-step through structured restoration so healing isn’t left to chance.
Marriage Mentoring is for couples wanting a deeper relational, long-term support system to help their marriage thrive in every season.
We believe you don’t have to keep living like roommates. With clarity, courage, and consistency, your marriage can become emotionally safe and deeply connected again.
Starting at $297 / session · Couples packages available
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This is not a support group where you share your struggles and go home. This is a program — with a clear framework, specific steps, and real accountability.
Erik leads the men. Diana leads the women. Groups meet weekly via video. You are expected to show up, do the work, and support the men around you with the same honesty you're asking of yourself.
Most men who join say the same thing afterward: they didn't know how much they needed other men who understood.
Monthly enrollment · Limited spots available
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When you partner with Red Hot Marriage, you help bring structured, faith-based restoration to couples navigating betrayal, addiction, and emotional crisis. Your support allows us to expand resources, recovery tools, and coaching access for marriages in need.
Together, we can help families rebuild trust, restore intimacy, and experience redemptionon.
A Note From Erik & Diana
We're not coaches who read about this in a book.
We know what it costs to live a double life — and what it took to get free. We knows what it feels like to discover the person you love has been keeping secrets. We know what it's like to wonder if your marriage is even worth saving.
And we know what it looks like when it is.
We've sat with couples who were communicating only through attorneys. Couples who had already told their kids they were separating. Some of those marriages are now thriving.
We don't give up on marriages. We won't give up on yours.
Common Questions About the Process
What happens on the free consultation call?
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It's a real conversation — 20 to 30 minutes with either Erik or Diana. We ask about your situation, listen to where you are, and give you an honest picture of what we think is possible. There's no pitch and no pressure. If we're not the right fit, we'll say so and point you toward someone who is.
How long will coaching take?
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It depends on where you're starting and what you're working toward. Most clients commit to a minimum of 3 months to see meaningful, lasting change. Some continue for a year or more as they move from crisis into growth. We'll give you an honest assessment in your first session.
Do we both have to show up?
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No. Individual coaching is for one spouse. Marriage coaching is for both. You can start individually and add your spouse later — many clients do. What matters most is that whoever shows up is serious about change.
What if the addiction is still active?
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We work with people at every stage — including those still in the middle of active addiction. Waiting until you feel "ready" often means waiting forever. We help you build the structure and accountability that makes getting free possible. You don't need to have it together to begin.
Is this covered by insurance?
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No. Coaching is not therapy and is not covered by insurance. We are coaches, not licensed therapists. If you need therapy, we'll refer you — and we often recommend working with a therapist alongside coaching.
Your marriage brought you here. That means something.
Your first consultation is a real conversation — no pressure, no pitch, no commitment.
Just Erik or Diana, giving you an honest look at where you are and what's actually possible from here.